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"Three Keys to the Kingdom" James 5:7-10

Loving Your Neighbor #6

by Clancy Nixon

December 16, 2006

Church of the Holy Spirit

Ashburn, Virginia

www.HolySpiritAnglican.org

I'm returning to my sermon series called "Loving Your Neighbor" this morning,

which is about how to love people into Kingdom relationship with Jesus. My topic for

today is a pertinent one as Christmas break is approaching, and with it the prospect of

spending a lot of time with relatives: How can you win your family members to Christ?

How do you so speak the truth in love to them that they respond by submitting to the

Lordship of Christ? Almost all of us have family members who do not know Jesus Christ

as their Savior. We have other family members who we suspect may be saved, but they

are on shaky ground, because their lives do not reflect submission to Jesus as the Lord of

their lives. What do you do if your unsaved relative is hostile to the faith, or to you when

you bring up spiritual topics? That's been my personal dilemma. How do you prepare the

way for your family to meet the Lord? The short answer is, there are three keys to the

Kingdom to win your family: through love, prayer, and patience. Love, Prayer, and

Patience.

In his first letter, chapter 3, verses 1 through 4, Peter tells "Wives, be submissive

to your own husbands, that even if some do not believe the Word, they may be won over

without a word by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of

your lives... by a gentle and quiet spirit." Peter says to believing wives with unbelieving

husbands, that it's not what you say, it's what you do, that will win your husband for

Christ. It's not about having all the answers; it's not about knowing what to say at all, but

rather, it's about your attitude. Those wives who exhibit attitudes of love, gentleness,

purity and humble service are far more likely to win their husbands to Christ than wives

who preach at their men. I know one woman who used to put little notes in her husband's

briefcase, saying things like "John 3:16" and "Romans 10:10." It did not work, and this

sort of pressure is usually counter-productive, because it injects unnecessary anxiety into

the family system. Your family needs to know that you'll still love them if they never

convert.

Key #1: Love is the key that unlocks Kingdom living in your family. This

advice is not just for wives; it's for husbands, children, and parents. Husbands with

unbelieving wives, you are far more likely to win her for Christ by loving her as Christ

loves the Church, by giving up your life for her, than you are by persuasive apologetics.

Here is another example of how evangelism is really all about love. Love for God your

purity and reverence; and love for them your submissive and gentle spirit. It's about

how you live and how you love.

It's why our church's Mission Statement puts the two Great Commandments first,

and the Great Commission third. Our priority task is to love God with all our heart.

What a great mission we have, to fall more in love with Jesus every day! Our second

task, which flows form the first, is to love our neighbors. When we are secure in the

Father's love for us, we can more easily love others. Third, we make disciples. If you

don't put love first, people will sniff you out. We make disciples because we love god

and we love people: that is, we put their highest good above our own.

You might ask yourself this question. Does your attitude towards your brother or

wife or relative motivate them to want what you have? Do you love them, and can they

see that?

As many of you know, I grew up in an atheist home run by my mother. My

mother's academic scientist father told her that she was too smart to believe in God. So

my siblings and I were raised outside the church. I've struggled with witnessing to my

family ever since my teenage years when I came to know Christ at an Episcopal summer

camp. As a teenager, I was ridiculed at home for my faith. My family has been resistant

to listening to me talk at all about my faith. One sibling has expressed anger about my

theology because I think that Jesus is the only way to the Father. Another sibling has not

wanted to hear about my faith for various reasons, including a Jewish spouse and raising

their children as secular Jews. A few years ago, I was asked by a sibling not to mention

anything about my faith at all.

If a family member tells you not to mention Jesus or God around them, what can

you do? As Peter says, win them with your submissive behavior and your love. You

don't need to wax eloquent with them about the substitutionary atonement; just love

them. Over time, your deeds will deliver the love of God to them. Even so, there are

occasions when I don't refrain from talking about God, even though I generally abide by

that restriction. While I don't bring up spiritual topics with my siblings, every few years,

they do, so I can respond. I have found that I can talk about my faith in a roundabout sort

of way. When one asked me how it was going for me, I recently told that one that there is

a sweet spirit of love in our church right now, and I'm just so glad to be in such a loving,

supportive community. There's that love thing again. I talk about love to people far from

Christ a lot, because that is what the world longs for, whether they know it or not.

If your family won't let you talk to them about God, still you can always talk to

God about them. That is, you can always pray for them, even if you can't pray for them

in their presence. Key #2: Prayer is the key that unlocks Kingdom Power in your

family. Let's say this together: John 5:16 says, "The earnest prayer of a righteous man

has great power and wonderful results." Our righteousness in found in the blood of

Christ - Amen? It's nothing we can earn for ourselves by our own deeds. I know of one

atheist, not in my family, who told me to stop praying for him. To his face, I refused to

agree to that. No one can take away that privilege from me, even if it's about them. I talk

to God about everyone and everything. Go to God in prayer about your unsaved family.

Who knows who else may be praying for them? You may be the only one. If there is

another believer in your family, why not ask them if they will pray with you for your

unsaved family members? Powerful things happen when families start praying. Matthew

18:19 says, "If two of you agree on what you ask, it shall be done for you by my Father

who is in Heaven." I've got two men in my Life Transformation Group praying for my

siblings.

Get a hold of one of these LTG brochures if you would like to learn how to pray

effective, scriptural prayers for your unsaved relatives or friends. With prayer, their

deliverance is near. The battle for souls is won on our knees.

The third key is patience. Key #3: Patience is the Key that unlocks Kingdom

timing in your family. James hits this point for us in the lesson for today. James 5:7

"Be patient, therefore, beloved, until the coming of the Lord. The farmer waits for the

precious crop from the earth, being patient with it until it receives the early and the late

rains. You also must be patient. Strengthen your hearts, for the Lord's coming is near."

At times it seems we've been waiting forever for our family members to be saved. I've

been praying for my family for twenty years, and just this year, in 2007, my first relative

from my mother's line except me, a niece, came to Christ as an aspiring actress in

Hollywood. She's the firstfruits of a generation of my prayers! With patience, we wait

for opportune times in the lives of our family to press in with love and care.

People are most open to accepting the Lord at times of transition in their lives.

The more recent the transition-producing event, the more receptive they are to new

directions or lifestyles of any type, such as Christ and the church. So be particularly

attentive to family members during time of separation and divorce; injury or illness;

death of a family member; new marriage or job or move or change in financial status.

Press in during such times with love, and God will provide the opportunities you need to

witness. But whether they listen to you talk about Jesus or not, love them anyway. Never

let them go. They are your family. Do you think that God loves people any less when

they reject him? If anything, his concern is even greater.

Be patient in love and prayer, awaiting your opportunity. The New Testament

Greek has two words for time: Chronos time is clock time, and Kairos time is a time of

opportunity. When you are with a good friend having a great time and the hours just whiz

by, that is kairos time. When the Bible quotes Jesus saying things like, "My time has not

yet come," that is kairos time. Kairos time is God's opportune time. As we are attentive

to God, we will better see the kairos time of opportunity to share with our relatives.

I'd like to invite Lisa Tobias forward to share her quite fruitful experience with

patiently loving and praying for her family.

I was raised in a "spiritual" home as a girl, but not a Christian one. My

parents were too educated for that. But with all of that, have never been

atheist...I had too many questions about the world and universe around me to

believe it was all accidental.

Soon I was off to college, leading the type of life that most secular college

students do. But, nothing ever filled the hole inside of me, I was like a sieve.

Some "literally soap box preachers" came on campus and tried scaring us into

the kingdom. Needless to say, it drove me further away. Why would I want a

vengeful God? I hadn't heard the part about His unconditional love first.

Then I met a young man in college named Joe, who introduced me to his

family. His older brother and wife treated me with kindness and a gentleness

that I had never experienced before and frankly didn't understand. I think they

saw a lamb gone astray, who desperately needed a savior. It was through their

gentle leading that I came to know Christ. Those wonderful saints are Jim and

Joanne Craft.

I became one of those new Christians that everybody wants to lock up for a

year to settle them down. Imagine that?! Not wanting people to be on fire for

Christ. I began talking to my friends and family perpetually. One friend came

to the Lord, but my family took substantially longer. I got all the usually

arguments and putdowns, but I was praying. I spent years trying to reason and

debate with them about the logic of God. That didn't work. They saw me as

foolish I believe. So, when I got married to a strong Christian man, it gave me

a partner in this crusade and more strength as well. Instead of a direct

approach, we just lived our lives in such a way that I believe showed my family

something was missing from their lives, peace. I never stopped praying and

never shunned their questions.

Sometimes, God takes brings us to our knees so that we can look up to

finally see Him. I believe that is what God did with my family. The hardest

person of all was my Jewish father. I prayed for 19 years. Then he started

asking me, privately of course, deep, probing questions. Finally, one night after

taking on the phone with my dad, I just dropped to my knees and pleaded with

God, "I don't care what it takes Lord, I just want my dad to know you!" After

19 years, my father came to Jesus, his Messiah.

I have been a believer now 22 years, not a perfect one...but a dedicated one.

Love and prayer work; your life speaks volumes.

I'd like to ask you to rise, and to close your eyes. Take a few moments to wait in

silence on the Lord, and ask him to show you the name and face of just one family

member who needs Christ. Let's wait on God.... Okay, now we are going to pray these

ten scriptural prayers from the LTG brochure prayer guide. Please pray for your family

member by name.

1. Lord, I pray that you draw _______ to yourself. (John 6:44).

2. I pray that _______ hear and believe the word of God for what it really is (1

Thess 2:13)

3. I pray that _________ would seek to know you (Acts 17:27)

4. I ask you Lord, to prevent Satan from blinding ________ to the truth.

5. Holy Spirit, I ask you to convict ________ of their sin and need for Christ's

redemption. (John 16:7-14)

6. I ask that you send someone who will share the gospel with ______. (Matthew

9:37-38)

7. I also ask that you give me or another the opportunity, the courage and the right

words to share with _______ (Col. 4:3-6)

8. Lord, I pray that _______turn form their sin and follow Christ. ((Acts 17:30-

31)

9. Lord, I pray that _______ would put all their trust in Christ. (John 1:12)

10. Lord I pray that ________ would confess Jesus as Lord, take root, grow in

faith and bear fruit for your glory in the fellowship of your church. (Romans 10:9-10,

Luke 8:15)

The three keys to winning your family for Christ are love, prayer, and patience.

Don't give up loving them; don't give up praying for them. Amen!