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Fruit of the Spirit #6 Kindness Ephesians 4:25-32

By Clancy Nixon

Church of the Holy Spirit

Ashburn, Virginia

February 25, 2007

www.HolySpiritAnglican.org

Many people in the world today are wondering, "Does anybody really care about

what happens to me?" Many of us have not been blessed with an intact family of origin,

so what God designed to be the place of security, the place of unconditional love for us,

instead we experienced as a burden of pain. Our work world is built on competition, not

cooperation, and the implied question that everyone seems to ask us is "What have you

done for me lately?" Everyone, it seems is longing for the milk of human kindness.

Many of you have met my mother-in-law, Becky Baumhauer, who is visiting us now

from Mobile, Alabama. She's with her sister in Accokeek today. As a host in my home,

when I have asked Becky if there is anything I can get for her, Becky says that all she

wants is "a cool glass of water and a few kind words." That explains the title of Thornton

Wilder's play "Tea and Sympathy." After being misunderstood, it came out that that is

all the main character in that play wanted, some tea and sympathy. There is a continual

shortage of kindness in the world.

Kindness is one of the fruit of the Spirit listed by Paul in Galatians 3:23. The

Greek word for kindness is sometimes also translated gentleness. In this series on the

fruit of the spirit, the character qualities of the fruit which are the qualities of Jesus

Christ, are a key to having better relationships with everyone we know. When you and I

are better conformed into the character of Christ, when we look more like Jesus, then we

can change our world, and be agents of transformation to bring in the Kingdom of God in

our time. We want our reflexive response to negative circumstances to be kind, loving

and forgiving. When you and I enter a room full of people, we bring the Kingdom in, and

the kingdom of darkness must retreat. That is our destiny, yours and mine, if we will

surrender more of our lives to Jesus, so we look more like him.

Kindness can change the world. A humble pastor from rural Pennsylvania came

to the Bronx in the 1960's to reach the Hispanic gangs for Christ. Pastor David

Wilkerson's story is told in the book, The Cross and the Switchblade. Nicky Cruz, the

gang leader, complained one day to Wilkerson that he did not understand their world or

what they faced, that he was preaching at them, not to them, and that he was so different

from them, with his fancy shoes, which they could not afford. Wilkerson immediately

took his shoes off and gave them to Cruz. Wilkerson walked the rest of that day in

stocking feet, and that act of kindness opened Cruz and his friends to both Wilkerson and

to his message. Wilkerson giving Cruz the shoes off his feet validated for Cruz that

Wilkerson's message was not just talk, but that it had power to change things. Acts of

kindness validate that the Christian message really is one of love. On the other hand, if

Christians are not kind, we will be judged as hypocrites by the world. If we do several

acts of kindness for a next door neighbor, he will be a lot more open to hearing the good

news about how Jesus' love changed our hearts. Kindness has converted far more sinners

than has zeal, or eloquence, or argument. A kind spirit is great evidence of a changed

life.

Kindness goes beyond politeness. When you show up with a gift at a dinner

party, that's expected; that's polite. Holding the door for someone is polite; its expected.

Kindness goes beyond what is expected in the worldly culture, even beyond what is

expected of polite people. Kindness is "love-in-action." Kindness is what love does.

Look at First Corinthians 13, the love chapter, and you will see that practical love often

looks like kindness. You know someone loves you when they are kind to you, when they

go above and beyond what is expected. Kindness is the widow giving her last penny to

the Temple. Kindness is Barnabas selling his field to give the money to the poor.

Kindness is when a Roman soldier insists that the Jew carry his burden for one mile, and

he carries it for two. Kindness is when you are insulted and in return you speak blessing,

and so, by the way, heap burning coals on the head of the one who cursed you.

Contrary to the way we sometimes use the word, kindness does not always mean

helping someone not to feel bad. Husbands, when your wife asks you her opinion about

the dress she is wearing, and it's too late for her to change it, people might say it's "kind"

to say to her that she looks lovely. But there are many times when to tell the absolute

truth is the kind thing to do, even if it is not perceived as polite. Teenagers, if you ever

see a friend about to smoke dope, drink liquor or take illegal drugs, the kind thing to do is

not to keep your mouth shut; the kind thing to do is to speak up and warn your friend not

to do something so self-destructive. Jesus is the personification of all the fruit of the

spirit; he was kind all the time, but he did not pussyfoot around with the devil when the

devil tempted him in the wilderness. Instead, he answered Satan's temptations to money,

power and fame with Scripture, and did not give in to the selfish human nature. Jesus was

not unkind to the money changers in the Temple Courts when he upset their tables;

telling the truth and warning people about real danger can be the kindest thing we can do

for them.

In most of our neighborhoods today, on our blocks and cul-de-sacs, kindness is

rare. It is rare for people to go out of their way to do something kind for someone else.

Now it may be different for those of you who live in the country. In my experience in the

suburbs, most neighbors will respond positively and politely if you ask them to help you

in some way that does not put them out much. For example, after I had hurt my arm

digging out of the ice in my driveway last week, I asked a neighbor if I could borrow his

snow blower, and he gladly lent it to me. I made sure to fill it up with gas after I had

used it. Kindness is not a natural human instinct. It has to be cultivated and trained and

enculturated. My own block has a custom of exchanging sweet treats in Advent. There

is a subtle social expectation to participate in that. We didn't have a custom of shoveling

snow beyond the bounds of our private property. Four weeks ago, we got a light snow,

and after I shoveled my own driveway and sidewalk, I felt a tug from the Lord to shovel

the sidewalk for all the homes on my side of the street, so I did. No one said anything,

and I did not expect them to. After the more recent ice storm, one neighbor with a snow

blower came by and blew a path through the ice all down the sidewalk on our side of the

street. Another neighbor came by today and shoveled our sidewalk. Could it be that a

culture of kindness is expanding on Schoolhouse Court? I'm not sure; I pray so; but one

thing I know: acts of kindness validate our faith to a watching world.

Kindness is the one fruit of the spirit that the world looks for more than any other

to see if you and I are the real deal, to see if Jesus really makes a difference in our lives.

Jesus gave us the Golden Rule. No, it's not "He who has the gold, rules!" Jesus said, "Do

unto others as you would have them do unto you." You may have heard that the golden

rule is found in many different religions and cultures all over the world. That is true, but

it is a different form of the golden rule. All other cultures had the golden rule in its

negative form: "Refrain from doing to others what you would have them refrain from

doing to you." Jesus turned that warning about doing things that harm people into a

command to do kindness to others. Followers of Jesus are to be kind, not just to refrain

from being insensitive or cruel; kindness should distinguish us.

The Greek word for kindness is Chrestos. The similar sound and sight of this

word to the Greek word for Christ, which is Christos, was not lost on the early church.

Chrestos means a tender concern for others. Kindness pays attention to the needs of

others. Sometimes I am asked what a Christian wife or husband whose mate is not a

believer can do to win their mate to Christ. Two things you can do consistently. You can

always pray for them in your prayer closet; and you can always be kind to them, meaning

you can go above and beyond what is expected to show them the love of God. You can

talk about the claims of Christ only when it is welcomed by your mate; but you can

always be kind.

In our culture, it's rare for people, particularly men, to let people know their

needs or when they are hurting. Some teenagers are an open book, but most adults have

learned through pain to be guarded about their areas of need. Many of us are very good

at hiding our needs and vulnerabilities from others. The people who are most successful

at breaking through those walls are people who are kind.

There is a worldly kind of kindness. It is possible to be kind without being a

follower of Jesus. That is because we are made in the image of God, and though that

image is marred by sin, somewhere deep in us, we also know that kindness is a good

thing. The Muslims do works of charity to the poor, as do the Shriners, even the

government. The difference for the follower of Jesus is that we have the power of the

Holy Spirit in us to be kind. We also have a different motive for kindness. We love

because he first loved us. Ephesians 4 verse 32: "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted,

forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." God sent his only son to the

cross to die for our sins, so that we could be reconciled to him. That act of violence and

sacrifice on the cross was the kindest thing God could ever have done for humanity.

Christ paid for all our sins on the cross: all our own unkindness, all the times we held a

grudge, all the lying, cheating and stealing that Paul talks about in Ephesians 4. It is

because we are forgiven that we can forgive others. It is because God was so kind to us,

so gentle as to pay for our sins himself. Because we have been treated so kindly, we

know the value of that, so we are kind to others.

So I'm not asking you simply to wake up tomorrow and decide to do something

kind for Lent, for the next forty days. That would be a good thing, but that alone is really

a worldly thing to ask. I'm asking you to wake up for the next forty days, and each day,

surrender your day and your life to Jesus. Give your selfishness to him. Then ask the

Lord to show you a way that you can be kind this Lent. It will take some sacrifice. The

Lord may call you to sacrifice some time; sacrifice some money; sacrifice some room in

your heart for others. I know a man who sensed a call from the Lord this year when he

passes beggars on his way to work not to give the smallest bill in his wallet, which he

used to do, but rather to give them the largest bill in his wallet. He does not carry 50's or

100's! The point is, he is giving beyond what is expected. That gets people's attention.

We are about to embark on the We Care campaign for the next four weeks. Bob,

would you please pass out two invite cards per person to each person here? While we do

that, I'm asking you to ask the Lord to show you one family that is responsive to you,

who lives near to you, or who you see occasionally. Will you show them an "above and

beyond" kindness this month? I believe that God is calling some of you to deliver

someone on your street a pie this week, and another to shovel snow for a neighbor.

Surrender your time and your money to him, and this will not seem hard; it will be a joy.

I'm giving you these cards and asking each one of you, sometime in the next month, to

invite two people to come to church with you to hear one of these messages. Maybe it

will be the person that you are called to be kind to. Maybe it will be someone who needs

to hear about marriage, for next week, or family, in the weeks to come. If someone tells

you they are struggling in their family, invite them to come hear the life changing

message of the gospel here at church the next few weeks.

I'd like to ask you to consider helping with set up and tear down on a regular

basis. This is a ministry of kindness and love. We need more workers for this essential

task. Would you pray about that?

I'd like to open the mike now and ask people to share with us how God has

moved in their lives through simple acts of kindness. I'd also like to ask that if anyone

has a story to share about how God has met them through set up and tear down ministry,

please share with us.

Now let's pray to surrender our lives to Jesus that we might be as kind as He is.